ive written and rewritten this a thousand times. i give up. i miss you. today i dont think you missed me back. which means its slowly ending. for you.

and i know thats best.

well years from now ill know it was best..

probably because im buzzed from wine and have full intentions of attending a play intitled “murder mystery by death of chocolate”. No, I have no idea what to expect either.

I did not plan on being pathetic today, but i guess that isnt something you schedule in your $12 planner, the same planner that for two weeks convinced the buyed they would be capable of organizing their life. I was decieved into believing it would somehow be aware of my itenerary every day and fill itself with the important events i would be responsible for.

Dear MEAD Planner : you pages are mostly empty, and so is my glass of motivation.

For the past hour my life has consisted of white wine, cigarettes, and stumbleupon.com. Unfortunately i have yet to find the flaw in my self sympathizing ceremony.

Maybe you’re wondering why i have decided to dedicate a day to self deprication and emotional drinking? Here’s your answer: life is overwhelming. Too vague? How about : Love is too overwhelming.

My emotions and I are not on the same page. If we were we’d still be paragraphs apart.

I will never understand how reality is so hard to grasp. Its reality. REALity. Fantasy has persuaded my decisions more often than not.

If day dreaming were a town, I would be mayor.
If “what ifs” were a country, I would be president.. or prime minister. I can get into Great Brittain.

6 mins until I have to turn my almost drunken state into a presentable young lady prepared to analyze a college production who’s titled is derived from death by my least favorite sweet.

…Welcome to Life : You cannot have it your way.